Life Without Her
by I'dRatherBeAFictionalCharacter
Summary: This is my interpretation of what would've happened if Al, Peter, and Drew would've killed Tris during her initiation when they kidnapped her. Told from Tobais' and Al's POVs. If you want anymore reactions review. Rated T for a few curses, but it's not that bad, it's only like three.
1. Chapter 1

**Helloooo, It's Rachel and today I am bringing to you a story about what would have happened in Divergent if Al and Peter did kill Tris during initiation. Depressing, right... I haven't seen any stories like this but if there are any I PROMISE I'M NOT STEALING YOUR IDEA! I PROMISE! Also this is written in Tobais's perspective and I am a lady so I can't really write as a guy... since I'm not one...**

**Also, I'm not really good with one shots because I like to play with the characters emotions a little, but this'll probably be a one shot, only because I already typed this and then FanFiction refreshed before I could save and I had a good ending that I can't really elaborate with in another chapter, but if you want me to continue let me know and I'll figure something out. Thanks.**

**THANKS AND ENJOY ;)**

I know it's her. Only she could make a scream that loud, yet high-pitched. I know it is. I have this gut feeling I can't shake, and I know it's her.

So I run. And not only do I run, I sprint.

I run like hell.

I knew something like this would happen. Every year it does. She is the top ranked initiate, I should've been expecting it.

And I was.

But I think I was being a little too drastic. Or a little too cautious. Either way.

I know she's special. Yes, she's Divergent, like me, but it goes beyond her aptitude. She's perfect, visually and mentally. She's beautiful, and stunning, and brilliant. She's witty, and smart, and funny. She's perfect when her Abnegation shows, and her Dauntless, and her Erudite. Seperatly, or all at once. She's perfect.

That's why I'm always waiting. I knew it would happen, the danger, so I watched. Watched the ways the other initiates looked at her. Watched the ways the other guys looked at her. Watched what she did. Watched how she reacted. And listened. Listened to what she said. Listened to what they said to her. Listened for the screams signaling her danger. Staying up at night waiting for what I don't want to hear. The screams signaling my need to help her. My need to rescue her. Watching. Always watching. Listening. Always listening. Waiting. Always waiting. Even in the dead of night.

And so I run.

I need to make sure she's safe. Always safe. Even if I'm not the one protecting her. Although I would like to be.

As I skid to a stop at the end of the hall, I peek around the corner, seeing if I can tell who they are, but their backs are all facing me.

I know if I run up to them now, they'll scatter, so I stay hidden, just waiting. Watching. Listening.

Every scream causes me to wince. Each one begs me to go help her. But I need to see who they are. I have plenty of guesses, but I need to be sure.

And suddenly, I am sure.

100% positive.

Without a doubt.

And I know, because I hear a voice.

In between the screams from her, and the laughter from them, it's there.

Asking what should not be asked. Doing what should not be done.

"You sure your 16, Stiff, you look like your 12."

Peter.

And then he puts his hand, his goddamned hand, into her shirt.

And squeezes her boob.

I think I'm going to explode.

I am going to go straight out there, and strangle each one of them.

Instead, I step away from the corner, and into the wide hallway. I involuntarily start pacing, I don't know what to do. I've been waiting to come to her rescue, and now I don't know what to do. I don't know. I don't know. And I'm beating myself up for it.

Do I go out and rescue her and have them run, or wait to go until the perfect moment when I can show up, save her, and bust them all at once. And I make a dumb desicion. I can already tell, but still I choose the stupidest of choices.

I choose the latter.

And for one reason, I want to see how far they go with it. And it's stupid, but I can't make myself move.

As I walk back toward my perch to peek around the corner again, I hear something.

Another scream.

But this one, this one is real.

It's louder than the others, and higher.

And it has a metallic twinge to it,

That gets tinnier as it drops.

Because it drops.

Drops.

Drops.

Drops.

Drops.

Drops.

Splash.

And I'm frozen.

And then,

And then,

I run.

I run like hell.

And I pounce.

And I strangle each one.

So they don't get away.

And they're all unconcious.

Except one.

But he doesn't run.

Because he's in a headlock.

And I want to kill him.

I really do,

But I just knock him unconcious.

And kick him in the ribs a few times,

Just for good measure.

I would go further,

But I have a prior engagement.

I slowly turn,

Not wanting to see what I'm bound to see.

I walk slowly now,

Cautiously,

And I lean over the rail.

And what I see over this barrier,

This protection,

Breakes me.

Because it didn't do it's job,

It didn't protect.

No,

I didn't protect.

I didn't save her.

As I lean over that rail,

And see the waves,

The rocks,

The fragile body,

Lying among them.

I know.

I just know.

If I wouldn't have waited.

I wouldn't have to live,

Life Without Her.

**Okayyy... Wowww... Ummm... There ya go... That was suprisingly easy to write the first time, but not so much the second. Right as I finished the first one I went to save, and FanFiction refreshed, and GRRRRRR, it was lost forever. I remembered most of it, but some of it is just ewwwww. Sorry, the first one was much better. Also, did you like how I made his thoughts really choppy? I mean he was experiencing a total tradgedy and disaster so... And if my BF/Crush was just thrown into a chasm I wouldn't be able to complete a thought either... So yes that's my reasoning... But I'd like to take a moment to thank Hopie, one of my best friends, because I don't own a copy of Divergent and she took pictures of the pages and texted them to me so I could reread this scene :P. THANKS HOPEEEEE! And thank you everyone who reads this, that's very kind of you. THANKS!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, this story has not been approached by me in a while because it was going to just be a one shot, but an anonymous reader asked for Al's reaction, and so I decided I would do it. Okay, we don't really need more of an introduction, so here is the story.**

* * *

I don't know what I'm doing.

I shouldn't be doing this.

This is not something I should be doing.

She doesn't deserve this.

I'm panicking.

I can't be doing this. I shouldn't be here.

She's screaming so loud.

I don't want to be caught.

I hope we get caught.

She doesn't deserve this.

I want to be smart. I don't want to hurt her.

It's pretty obvious that neither of those wants are becoming truths.

I'm an idiot. I'm rash. I don't know what I'm doing.

Why am I here?

This is bad. This is so bad.

Were going to be caught and were going to be done for and she's going to be done for and...

She's going to be done for. She can't be done for.

Oh my god. Were going to be kicked out and I'll be factionless. I don't want to be factionless.

The screaming has elevated. She's ten-thousand miles beyond screaming.

Peter's touching her chest.

He doesn't have the right to do that. I should be allowed to do that.

I should be her boyfriend.

I want to get caught.

I don't want to get caught.

I don't know what I want.

What would she want?

Not this. She wouldn't want this.

I shouldn't have kidnapped her.

I shouldn't have suspended her over the railing.

I shouldn't have listened to Peter.

I shouldn't have let him get what he wanted.

I shouldn't have thrown her over the railing.

I shouldn't have ran when I heard footsteps.

I shouldn't have went back to the dormitory.

I shouldn't have celebrated with the rest.

I shouldn't have dishonored my friendships.

I shouldn't have made a vow.

I shouldn't have thrown myself off of the rail the next morning.

But I did.

There's no time for regrets.

* * *

I'm not sure what just happened... Thank you to the anonymous reviewer who reccomended I do this a very long time ago. I'm sorry it didn't happen sooner, I've been doing a ton of reading and not too much writing. I don't really like this and it's super short, so... I don't know. If you would like to see anything else, let me know in a review. It might take me a while but I'll do it. :) Thank y'all and I hope you did enjoy. I'm not country... I don't know... This post in general just confuses me...


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